Biden’s Love for His Son Is Beautiful — and It Hits Home for Me

When my son Nic was born, I was like other parents who hope that their children will be healthy and happy. But when Nic became addicted to heroin and methamphetamine as a teenager, my dreams shifted. I wanted him to get clean and stay clean. As his drug problem escalated — he used potentially lethal drugs in dangerous combinations for a decade — my hope for him became very simple: just to survive.

He did, and my gratitude for his life is at the heart of our relationship now. He is here. The past, the fallout, are all secondary.

I’ve been thinking about another father of a son with a severe substance-use disorder; a son who survived and is now in recovery. Americans have strong opinions about President Biden and his son Hunter, and that’s understandable: The president is asking us to consider him for re-election, and Hunter was recently found guilty of three felony counts of lying on a federal firearms application in 2018. It is a father-son relationship unlike any that American voters have grappled with.

But much of the discourse around Joe and Hunter Biden seems so wrongheaded to me. That’s because it reflects a profound misunderstanding of the relationship many parents have with children with substance-use disorders.

Hunter has been referred to as a “headache” for his father. Some commentary suggests he is paying a “political price” for Hunter’s problems; the father is “too deferential” to the son.

In the political arena, all this is fair game. But when Americans consider President Biden’s thoughts and feelings toward his son, they should not assume he is dwelling on whether their interests are in conflict or what a political headache Hunter is. Hunter hasn’t made it easy for his father — but people with substance-use disorders don’t generally make it easy for their loved ones. That doesn’t mean parents of children in addiction see them only in those terms.